This collection of Christmas Poems for Kids is by history-for-kids writer Paul Perro.
Yes, yes, we know that funny poems about Christmas don't really have anything to do with "history for kids" but we love Paul Perro's Christmas poems so much that we just have to share them with you.
It's our little present to you.
All around the world, across hundreds of nations,
Families love Christmas - the tree, the decorations,
Christmas cake, crackers, carol singers, festive cheer;
Here are some poems about this special time of year.
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire,
Sprouts are boiling in the pan,
I wonder if this year you'll get
A sweater from your gran.
A snowman wears a scarf and hat,
It is a winter's day.
He's big and round but he's not fat
He was just built that way.
Santa has a long white beard,
It's years since he last shaved.
He gives out toys
To girls and boys
So long as they've behaved.
Hang your stockings up, but first
Make sure you've washed them well.
Santa won't be happy if
There is a cheesy smell.
Look at the sparkly Christmas Tree
In your sitting room.
With all its bling
It sure does bring
Some Christmas va-va-voom!
There is an old rule about mistletoe
And the rule is this
If you see someone stood below
You must give them a kiss.
I spy with my little eye
Something beginning with "M".
A mince pie.
I could eat a hundred of them
Mary and Joseph, angels and stars,
An inn-keeper who has run out of beds.
A child dressed as a donkey,
The three kings' crowns are wonky,
And the shepherds have tea-towels on their heads.
Q: Why does Santa have three gardens?
A: So that he can hoe hoe hoe
Q: What is green, covered with tinsel, and lives in a pond?
A: A mistle-toad
Q: What kind of bread do elves use?
Q: Which reindeer is the most ill mannered?
Q: What does a Snowman eat for lunch?
A: An Iceberger
Q: What do you get if you cross a Christmas bell with a skunk?
A: Jingle smells
Q: How do cows greet each other on December 25th?
A: Moo-ry Christmas.
Q: What kind of music do elves like best?
A: Wrap music
Q: What goes oh oh oh?
A: Santa walking backwards
Q: What do you get if you swallow Christmas decorations?