History Jokes

Here's a great collection of hilarious history jokes for you!

Well, they're not all hilarious to be honest. Some are really quite terrible!

Some are old and some are new, some are for the kids and some are for mum and dad

History, they say, is just one thing after another. So we might as well have a laugh about it. And if we can't have a laugh, perhaps we'll settle for a groan. Enjoy our history jokes!

Q: Which Pharoah played the trumpet?
A: Tooting-khamun!

Q: What was the fruit that launched a thousand ships?
A: Melon of Troy.

Q: Why were the middle ages called the dark ages?
A: Because there were so many knights!

Q: How did the Vikings send secret messages?
A: By norse code!

Q: Which historical figure was an expert on the springboard?
A: Lady Good-diver.

Q: What do you get in a 5-star pyramid?
A: A tomb with a view

Q: What was the most popular movie in Ancient Greece?
A: Troy Story

Q: Where would you find Hadrian's Wall?
A: At the bottom of Hadrian's garden.

Q: What do you call a Roman with a cold?
A: Julius Sneezer

Q: Which King had the largest crown?
A: The one with the biggest head.

Q: What do Alfred the Great and Ivan the Terrible have in common?
A: Their middle name

Q: Why did Captain Cook sail to Australia?
A: It was too far to swim

Q: When did Jesse James die?
A: Just before they buried him.

Q: Why did Henry VIII get married so many times?
A: He liked to chop and change

Q: Who made King Arthur's round table?
A: Sir-Cumference

Q: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
A: At the bottom.

Q: Why did the Archaeopteryx catch the worm?
A: Because it was an early bird!

Q. Where did medieval knights park their camels?
A. Camelot.

Q. Who refereed the tennis match between Caligula and Nero?
A. A Roman Umpire.

Q: Why did the mammoth have a woolly coat?
A: Because he would have looked ridiculous in an anorak.

Q. Where did Napoleon keep his armies?
A. Up his sleevies.

Q: Archeologists recently discovered a statue of a pink lady in a T-bird. What period was it from?
A: Ancient Grease.

Q: What car did Isaac borrow from his father to help win the civil war and end slavery?
A: Abraham's Lincoln.

Q: What's fruity and burns?
A: The Grape Fire of London

Q: Who led the Australians into the promised land, through a semi-permeable membrane?
A: Ozmoses

Batty Books:
"The Highwayman" by Robin Coaches
"Castle Design" by Norman Architect
"The Constitution" by Alice Tovrules
"Great Military Victories" by Dee Day
"Protest in Boston" by T.Overboard

Thanks for browsing our collection of history jokes

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